“you don’t want me to feel this way in the first place”
….”you’re very observant”
…….thanks. that didn’t hurt or anything. i’m just a pretty decoration. eventually you’ll get sick of trying to do this and that’ll be the end of that. the only difference is that you’ll be perfectly fine and i’ll be a wreck. if this goes bad i’m not going to want to open up to anyone for a very, very long time.
my best friend is moving back to new york. driving here as i write this. too bad i’m 3 hours away. it makes me want to be home. at least at home i didn’t have anything to lose.
i don’t know what to do anymore. this is an incredibly whiny, miserable post. ugh.
heat advisory, no money at all. probably not gonna eat anything until a lot later. ugh. fuck today. two trains and an hour trip to class. class til 3. wheel of life class 7-9. hopefully seeing alex. went to the ER yesterday because i keep having panic attacks and now there’s no trigger which is bad. today is going to suck until about 7.